Comments on: Measures of Success

By: Sean

Sean — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:48:34 +0000

Will, I love what you just wrote, and it resonates strongly with something I just read last night in a wonderful book entitled How to Talk to Anyone, by Leil Lowndes.

In answer to the inevitable “what do you do?” question, the author says, never respond with what she calls “the naked job.” For example, instead of saying “I’m an attorney,” say something like “I’m an attorney. Our firm specializes in employment law. In fact, now I’m involved in the case where a company actually discharged a woman for taking maternity leave that was a medical necessity.”

That not only tells something about who you are and what you value, but gives the other person a meaningful “handle” to grab onto and continue the conversation.

By: Will Wright

Will Wright — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:02:35 +0000

I’m wondering what happens when you cast the conversation in terms of your own ideas of success. So instead of the “What do you do? / I’ve been published” scenario (being published being one of the societal definitions of success for a writer), perhaps something like “What do you do? / I’m a writer. I try to focus on the beauty of the human condition.” Not that this will always work, but it does provide an opportunity.

By: by Tim

by Tim — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:48:02 +0000

@all: Many thanks for weighing in. Mark is winging his way toward sunny California as we speak, and staying true to Soul Shelter principles of unplugging while on vacation.

I hope to do the same myself soon, by car, but at the moment people are skiing through the streets of Portland atop a foot of snow—a beautiful sight! So we’ll see how that works out.

Wishing you all the greatest love and happiness for 2009, I remain

Respectfully yours,

Tim Clark

By: Aileen Journey

Aileen Journey — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 19:42:49 +0000

I have decided to define my measure of success as how much free time I have. I work from home now blogging, writing and teaching college online so I have a lot of free time, but I find it difficult to convey to people free time as success. People still want to know if I’m making good money.

At this point, I generally just smile at people when the “what do you do” question comes up and tell them I’m retired. This is the work I wanted to do when I retired and at 42 I’m doing it. The flexibility of retirement people understand even though I’m still doing a lot of work that I want to be doing.

By: jim

jim — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:21:15 +0000

Your conversation reminds me of every conversation I’d had with people ever since becoming a blogger full-time, except mine are shorter and people just looked surprised I can feed myself.

You’re on point about success though.

By: Aussie Joe

Aussie Joe — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 06:27:03 +0000

At the behest of sounding contrite, aren’t you the arbiter of success? Don’t confuse celebrity with success. Plenty of celebs have achieved nothing but publicity. What have they left that is enduring?

Is your pursuit is paying the bills and allowing you to live your life the way you want? If so, then I would say you’re a success …

Do people buy your books and read your blog? Then you have publicity and recognition.

Cheers,
J
PS: Thanks for an interesting site.