nurse.jpgWhen you reach a certain age, you start to resemble what you eat—and that’s bad news for people like me, who crave chocolate, beer, and croissants.

A few years ago my back gave out when both my kids jumped on me at the same time. After a doctor visit and x-rays confirming the absence of serious injury, I received the standard issue medical advice for 90% of all back problems: “Take it easy and it will clear up in time.”

I did, and it did, but the experience was a stunning reminder that nothing can replace the good fortune of health. I stared in alarm at a photograph of myself: a sagging-posture “office physique” 40 pounds heftier than what I weighed in college. Without change, my physical condition would slowly deteriorate.

Well, it took time and hard work, but I’m finally back in shape. Though I’d never formally considered how I went about it, after reading Get Fit Slowly, I sat down and tried to distill the key points of my “program.” Here’s what I came up with: Four Simple Steps to Getting Fit (they’re not easy, but they’re simple).

Step 1. Stop eating while you’re still hungry

Most of us are accustomed to eating until we feel full. But if you feel full, you’ve already overeaten. Stop. Think. Chew your food slowly andfiber.jpg thoroughly, and pay attention to how you feel as you proceed through your meal. If you attend closely to your eating, you’ll feel yourself gradually filling up. Stop eating when you feel about 80% full (don’t worry, you won’t starve. In Japan, this is known as hara-hachibun: the “80% full” policy—it helps you distinguish between eating to refuel and eating because it tastes good). If you decide to drink alcohol with your meal, eat less food to compensate for the additional volume (remember, stop when you feel 80% full). From the standpoint of losing weight, this 80% rule is the most important of the Four Steps.

Step 2. Weigh yourself twice a day

Weigh yourself first thing in the morning and again before you go to bed at night. Do this not to obsess about results, but to see what happens when you drink a beer late at night, or how constipation or poor elimination affects your weight. Weigh consistently, and you’ll quickly see the results of Step 1 reflected in the numbers. An enormously successful Japanese diet plan consists of doing nothing but recording one’s weight—writing it down in a special journal—several times per day. Paying attention to and becoming conscious of your weight is an extremely effective strategy. Do it religiously and the rest of your behavior will fall in line.

Step 3. Drink plenty of water and take psyllium fiber daily

glass_of_water.jpgDrink a couple of big glasses of water as soon as you get up, and after breakfast, drink another big glass of water or juice with a hefty teaspoonful of psyllium fiber (Metamucil is an inexpensive but poor substitute—it has tons of added sucrose). The fiber will fill you up, and—to put it rather undelicately—make you crap like a horse. And no, unlike laxatives, which loosen your bowels through chemical action, fiber strengthens your guts by making them work harder. My doctor recommended this as a way to reduce my high blood pressure, and I’ve been a fiber fan since.

Step 4. Start an exercise routine

This is the least important Step from the standpoint of losing weight, but the most important from the standpoint of becoming fit. Sticking to an exercise routine—just like the routine of weighing yourself, the fiber regimen, and the habit of conscious eating—strengthens your overall program. I got professional help from a corrective exercise specialist, who immediately perceived my biggest problem—poor posture—and designed a trunk-strengthening program for me.

Well, that’s everything I know about losing weight and getting fit, and therefore my first and last post on the subject. It’s all well-known stuff, but I learned the Four Simple Steps by doing them, and they worked for me. Maybe they’ll work for you, too.

A slightly modified version of this post first appeared at Get Fit Slowly.

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soulshelterright.gifHerewith, we present a new essay from our Soul Shelter First-Person Essay Award submission pool. We think you’ll find Seattle writer Terri Davis Smith’s story as inspiring as we have. (Also, be sure to read “Lighting the Way for Others” by contest entrant Melissa Hanser).

Remember, if you’re contemplating submitting your own 400-1,500 word essay on the subject of balancing fortune and fulfillment, our entry deadline is July 1, 2008. Take advantage of our no-entry-fee setup, and get a shot at publication on this blog and a $1,000 grand prize.

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• A New Fortune: How Panic Attacks Enhanced Perspective on Life by Terri Davis Smith

A panic attack has a way of heightening your perspective — there is nothing more real than the feeling of losing control of your thoughts and senses. When a panic attack subsides, it’s time to take stock of your circumstances, which is what I did at age thirty-nine.

I had the corporate job, a wonderful husband, two amazing children, and even the dog andanxiety_headlines_pshrink30.JPG picket fence. Instead of enjoying these so-called accoutrements of success, I was constantly filled with anxiety, and my career-bent days did not include fulfillment. There was a distinct imbalance, and I can thank panic attacks for making this clear.

I spent seventeen years climbing the corporate ladder during the time when dot-coms and IPOs (Initial Public Offerings) were, literally, a dime-a-dozen. The company I worked for experienced two and three-way stock splits and mergers and acquisitions. My co-worker would reload the Nasdaq quotes page for fun, to find our company stock sometimes jumping ten dollars in one day. I joked that she had the Midas touch. My stock options granted me Hawaiian getaways and a vacation home.

All in all, life was good, right? Apparently so, until that Friday afternoon when I left one of my weekly department meetings. I was on my way back to my desk, chatting with colleagues and, as usual, kvetching about the meeting. As I walked up a staircase I had walked up probably five-thousand times during my tenure, I began to feel light-headed and dizzy. I knelt down on the stairs. I remember my friends and co-workers gathering around and offering comforting words, but all I could say was, “I’m afraid and worried about my girls.” The paramedics arrived. I saw my husband holding my younger daughter, her head buried in her papa’s chest.

We made three visits to the emergency room that weekend because of three subsequent attacks. The first two doctors muttered that I was fine and was only having an anxiety attack. The third doctor verbalized the same but also gave me some brochures about panic attacks. Reading through them, I found all the symptoms to be precisely what I had been experiencing. I finally understood that I was not going to die from having these feelings. This helped me calm down. I took a week off from work to recover. I became very introspective during this recovery period, and doubts about my line of work began to flood my thoughts.

prescription-image1.gifI listed the pros and cons of my job. The “pros” column included the names of two co-workers who were great friends. It also included, of course, my salary. The “cons” column was quite extensive, and included: high stress; missing out on volunteering at my daughters’ schools; guilt for taking vacation time; less praise and appreciation received; more work received; less time allowed to do the work; the integration of corporate jargon in my everyday speech (i.e. “You must be nimble,” and “Do the right thing”); and the integration of sweater sets and pearls.

I realized that at work I had lost a sense of who I was-both on the job and off. I was unhappy and unfulfilled. Panic attacks brought me to the understanding that I needed a better work/life balance, I was lacking fulfillment, and I missed my family.

Nowadays, I have a clearer vision of what’s important in my life, and I’m taking baby steps to fulfill this vision. I left the corporate world and enrolled in school to learn and create new skills. I’m amazed at how the stress has vanished from my body-probably because I’m taking care of myself with more exercise and rest. School field trips, cycling, and snuggle sessions are in the picture now.

Lately, the panic attacks have become strangers. Their job done, they’ve left me alone. Coincidently, I’m more satisfied with my life, and I believe I’ve found a new kind of fortune.

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“A thing is sometimes added to by being diminished and diminished by being added to.”coffee_and_croissant_pshrink.JPGTao Te Ching (XLII; 96)

Earlier this year, the It’s a Small World ride at Disneyland was closed for updates which included deepening the fiberglass waterways to accommodate today’s obese passengers. The Small World boats had scraped to a standstill a bit too often of late, slowing lines and resulting in complaints.

There’s no denying it: Americans are getting girthier.

Generally these days, we Yanks aren’t too good at moderation. While certain episodes in our national history (frontier settlement, The Great Depression, and the lean times of rationing during WWII) remind us that ours is a heritage of toughness and sacrifice, the modus operandi in our contemporary age of prosperity entails eating, shopping, driving, working, and being entertained — all in excess.

big_coffee_to_go_pshrink.JPGThis puts us in stark cultural contrast to other thriving western nations. Take France, whose people work less, vacation more, and enjoy higher rates of personal fitness. Most coffee drinkers in France, heirs to the world’s finest café culture, find the demitasse espresso sufficient for their morning pick-me-up. In the States, on the other hand, we demand triple-shot double-grande caramel macchiatos. And where the French café-goer takes his coffee in cup and saucer because he values sitting as much as sipping, the American gets his grande on the go, the enormous paper cup a product of his perpetual motion (and a wasteful one at that).

We lack moderation not only in our styles of ingestion and consumption, but in our tireless ambition. Success is the holiest deity of our national cult — and our fixation upon success is, of course, good and bad.

I am certainly not without ambitions. Abundant opportunity and good ol’ fashioned bootstrapping self-reliance appeal to me as much as to the next guy. In fact, I’ve spent the last eight years, virtually without pause, in thrall to my own dreams and aspirations. I regret none of that time, and have achieved my own modicum of success — and an even greater deal of fulfillment. Hard work and dogged perseverance certainly have their place. (I’m enjoying Tim’s new Entrepreneurship thread as much as our readers are).

But recently, while chatting across the back fence with a neighbor about our impending parenthood, my wife and I were the beneficiaries of some lovely (and unconventional) advice: “Lower your expectations.”

With this wise directive our neighbor, a fulltime parent of two youngsters, was encouraging us to be realistic about our own goals once our baby arrived — in other words, to practice moderation in our personal ambitions. Lower expectations, our neighbor advised, would help us “stay sane,” and would keep us in the moment.

The advice, so wonderfully unique, has stayed with me. I’ve long advocated moderationbalance_and_success_pshrink.JPG where the dining table, the wallet, the automobile, or the church was concerned. But as for practicing moderation in my vocation, I could do better. I could strive to better balance work and life. I could take care to see that my passion doesn’t become compulsion. And what better time to seek such moderation than during the first months of my first-born’s life, when there’s so much happening that I don’t want to miss?

So I’m working on it. I’m reminding myself, daily, of the value (counterintuitive as it may be) in sometimes lowering my expectations, in not demanding so awfully much of myself.

Lao Tzu, the sage author of the Tao Te Ching, puts it this way:

Too much store
Is sure to end in immense loss.
Know contentment
And you will suffer no disgrace;
Know when to stop
And you will meet with no danger.
You can then endure.”
(XLIV; 108)

tao_te_ching.jpgI’m hardly alone in my wish for moderation. This subject seems to be in the air these days. In “Leaving Work to Watch the Sunset,” a recent segment on NPR’s This I Believe, journalist Laurie Granieri gives an eloquent testimonial about her search for moderation in her professional life. It’s well worth a listen.

And over at the Art of Manliness blog, you’ll find another fine piece on “The Virtuous Life of Moderation.”

Here’s to heeding Lao Tzu and “knowing contentment…”

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hatchling_shrink35.JPGOn a mild evening recently, I stood in the cooling air holding my week-old child in my arms, and watched his tiny face relax to the touch of the breeze. For both of us, the moment was strangely powerful. I was amazed and privileged to witness this little person’s first twilight sensation — and to have helped him experience such a thing. What’s more, while observing him, and feeling the breeze on my face, I sensed an innocent wonder reawakening within me.

It might as well have been the first time I’d felt such a breeze. I was experiencing the world anew, because my child was. In that moment, he’d helped me bridge the distance between my blasé adult self and a much younger, less complicated version of me.

We all have an inner child whose freshness and awe can continue to renew and enliven us even as our bodies age. If it doesn’t, perhaps we’ve become numb to the best things in life.

Put another way, our inner child helps us plant our feet firmly in the mysterious abundance of each single day — at least we should hope it does, otherwise we may be missing out on something essential.

In his unaffected rural style, the Romantic poet William Wordsworth wrote on this very subject more than two-hundred years ago:

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.

As I observe my infant son in these first wondrous weeks of his existence (also my first euphoric days of parenthood), each hour brings potent reminders of Wordsworth’s poetic truth. The Child is father of the Man.

How many of us can truly say that the sight of a rainbow awakens for us, like Wordsworth, the same indescribable elation it awoke in us as children? Though the vision itself remains the same, we see it with different eyes. Duller eyes, maybe.

beginning_artist_shrink35.JPGFor most grown-ups, this is a fact of life. But remember the magical glow of primary colors back in your youth? The joy of warm beach sand or prickly lawn grass under your toes? The breathtaking effect of fresh snow? Do the potent immediacy of these sensory marvels become so lost upon us that they have only the hollow sound of cliche when called to mind? 

Why should our senses dim as we grow older? Why should we lose our childhood reflexes of wonder and awe?

Well … it simply happens, even for those who strive to stay alert, observant, open-hearted. It’s a fundamental problem in life. It comes with the territory of assuming adult responsibilities — and especially with leading high-paced and heavily scheduled modern existences. We become accustomed — and occasionally even indifferent — to the gifts each day brings.

Aging and amassing experience by the year, we grown-ups tend to believe ourselves well-practiced in living. While in truth our every moment is new, we feel we pretty much know what’s coming, and rarely is it something we haven’t seen before. This morning is a morning like most others. This breeze is a breeze, no big deal. In many ways, this nonchalance is demanded of us. We’re led to believe it’s what qualifies adulthood. We’re expected to know what to expect.

first_steps_shrink35.JPGBut my tiny newborn, still unpracticed in life, exemplifies the value of experiencing the world afresh, the value of being a beginner. And while it’s almost second-nature for grown-ups to regard inexperience as a detriment, to think of being a beginner as a condition to overcome quickly, my boy reminds me, his awe-inspired father, that every day is indeed something unprecedented — and therefore, whether I choose to admit it or not, I am always a beginner.

Another poet I admire, T.S. Eliot, put it another way in his “Four Quartets”:

There is, it seems to us,
at best, only a limited value
In the knowledge derived from experience.
The knowledge imposes a pattern, and falsifies,
For the pattern is new in every moment
And every moment is a new and shocking valuation
Of all we have been…

The child is father of the man. In every moment, the pattern is new. My actual son and my inner child, both, bring me fully into the richly palpable world, reawakening me in the most mysterious but unmistakable way.

Suddenly I find myself absorbed more deeply in the unprecedented present, and if I have the innocence to be a little awe-struck, it’s a good thing. It turns out I don’t mind being a beginner at all.

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jumping_off_top.jpg“I can’t. I’m scared.”

Skyler Dunn, three years older and infinitely wiser, looked at me with a kind smile as I stared nervously toward the water nearly thirty feet below. The surface of Lake Washington had never appeared so green and ominously dark.

It was a brilliant Seattle today in the summer of my twelfth year. I’d long before completed my rite of passage by leaping from “Top,” the white steel diving platform at the end of the Laurelhurst Beach Club dock. But budding hormones now goaded me to plunge headfirst–to dive, like the teenagers.

For an hour, Skyler had been egging me on, in a supportive, sympathetic way—my first one-on-one coaching session. I was thrilled that the bigger boy had taken such an interest in my dilemma.

“You can do it,” he insisted. “Once you’ve dove, you’ll wonder why you were ever scared.”

Again and again he pleaded my own case for me, persistent but positive. After what seemed like hours of agonizing, I edged to the brink of the platform, then flung myself headlong toward the water, moments later bursting with joy to the surface, to return triumphantly to Top for another dive. As Skyler had said, now it was easy.

It’s easy for me to know this now, because I’m a lot older, and when you get older it becomes easier to understand that risk is what makes life fun, what pushes you ahead. I love the Van Halen tune:

Might as well jump. Jump! Might as well jump. Go ahead, jump. Jump! Go ahead, jump.

My father died a couple of years ago, and your father dying is the universe telling you, “you’re next.” And when you’re next, you start to realize that—given the new big picture that’s just been handed you—few things in life are truly risky.dad_and_charlie.jpg

During my first six-year stint in Tokyo, I talked to a guy who told me how he got started on an impressive business career. It was like talking to Skyler Dunn twenty years later:

“An acquaintance’s father, an electronics company executive, asked me if I could go to the U.S. and research the battery market. ‘Sure,’ I said.”

Ever cautious, I asked if he’d had any market research experience when he made that bold reply. He snorted. “Hell, if I always had to have experience before trying something new, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning!”

His confidence bowled me over—and I winced at my own timid thinking. Of course! Just dive, like Skyler said! It’s the thought of trying the unknown, the fear of it that holds us back. It’s not that we’re incapable. We’re all capable of doing what we can reasonably imagine ourselves doing.

What Skyler taught me at the Beach Club so many years ago, and what I keep struggling to apply, now has the clarity of age. So I say: Dive, young man! Dive, old man! Dive!

The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously. Frederich Nietzsche

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no_yes1.jpgRejection is a bothersome word. When one’s ideas or efforts are rejected, it can be hard to take it as anything but a setback–or worse: a cruel dismissal. As a writer, I’m extremely familiar with rejection. I’ve received hundreds upon hundreds of no’s for most every yes that’s come my way. And that’s just the behind-the-scenes part of what I do. Being a writer who hopes to sell books, I must also make occasional public appearances at bookstores or libraries, and every one of these events can lead to rejection of a more public nature. Sometimes, quite simply, no one shows up! One learns to be grateful for an audience of two or three, believe me.

So even with two novels, a score of published short stories, and the ostensible stamp of validation thought to come of critical acclaim, several no’s arrive at my door every week. In this we can observe a strange paradox about the life of a writer today: where the private undertaking of his or her art requires the writer to cultivate high sensitivity–a dependably thin skin–the public act of producing and marketing that art requires a skin of bovine thickness. (But I suppose that’s a subject for another post.)

Because rejection is such a fundamental part of my vocation, I’ve learned to look at it in a special light. As I see it, each no that arrives by mail, rather than being an explicit stumbling block, is actually a stepping stone bringing me closer to a yes. And as for those poorly attended public appearances, well, those too, though awkward, are a means of moving forward, for they ensure that my book enjoys a prominent display-place in a bookstore for at least a few weeks before and after my in-person visit. Thus the rejection of public appearances is offset, to a decent degree, by a longer-lasting promotional bonus, while rejections from publishers clarify my vision as an artist, shedding light on the path ahead to publication.

Multiple refusals of a single short story provoke me to evaluate the work with new eyes. Often I will find at least a few small improvements2-rejection-boxes.jpg to make. Sometimes I find many, and re-haul the story accordingly, then send it out anew. Sometimes, too, after serious consideration, I remain convinced that a story is as perfect as I can make it on my own, and I conclude (with as much self-awareness as possible) that the rejections so far do not reflect the work’s strength or weakness, but merely the highly subjective submissions process, or perhaps some age-old dissonance of art and the marketplace.

I should add that it’s crucial, and extremely difficult, to tone the muscle of critical discrimation that enables you to stand firm and believe in the worth of what you’ve produced without deluding yourself or being unduly hardheaded. Striking this precarious balance is a talent useful in all aspects of life; I suspect it’s the trait we often refer to as faith or trust–and sometimes love. Ah, but that too is subject for another post…

Occasionally, when faced with innumerable rejections of a story I believe wholeheartedly to be the best I can produce, I simply resort to the uncomfortable assurance that rejections, now and then, signify nothing. They’re just the stripes my work must earn before it finally arrives in print.

I recall a visit I once paid to Jack London’s estate in Glen Ellen, California. I was honing my own skills as a young literary aspirant, and had yet to enjoy my first acceptance from a literary magazine, but I’d already amassed a score of form-letters. I stood studying the contents of a glass case. Two or three rejections for London’s work were displayed there. One said something like, “Nobody cares to read about the Yukon.” A museum placard next to that letter declared that Jack London had received 600 rejections before breaking into print. Fascinating and instructive, when you consider that London became one of the first American writers to survive exclusively by his pen. The literary world is a tough and crowded one–it always has been–and one can’t expect to glide sweetly into any single accomplishment. (Check out the wonderful website, The Rejection Collection.)

But I’m reminded of a maxim Tim and I included in our parable of “The Vengeful Priest” in The Prosperous Peasant:

Average effort produces average results, but extraordinary effort produces extraordinary results.

Now, in possession of two large shoeboxes crammed mostly with form letter no’s, I’m long past the point where even a hundred rejections can weaken my belief. If I’m committed to a story, and have worked and reworked it till it represents what I know to be the height of my powers–and still it continues to meet with rejection, I tend to derive strength and resolve from each no it receives. A peculiar response, I suppose, but useful!

There goes The New Yorker, there goes The Atlantic, but I see a distinguished literary magazine ahead! Each rejection reminds me that I’m on my way. Each is a landmark on this journey through my art.

Join us again this Thursday, when Tim will write about the importance of taking leaps.

See also: “Poverty, the Pulitzer, & the Beauty of Letting Go” and “Fulfillment: A Work in Progress

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travel_departures_pshrink.JPGWe shall not cease from exploration / And the end of all our exploring / Will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time.”
–T.S. Eliot

Occasionally I am asked one classic question every author must encounter: Where do you get your ideas?–and sometimes this variant: Do you wait for inspiration, or do you just start working and see what comes out?

Theres one very good answer which Ive never really managed to articulate in person. It goes somewhat like this: Inspiration waxes and wanes, and producing a book is most often a matter of sitting down and serving time at the desk. But I also believe that inspiration can be galvanized in certain ways, and one of these is to consciously put yourself into the realm of the unexpected. The most reliable method of doing this is to travel.

My wife and I have always been avid travelers. The story of our relationship is, in a way, a travelogue. Major moments in the narrative take international settings: London, Paris, Switzerland, Istanbul, Hong Kong, Indonesia. Though weve never earned much money, throughout our married life weve made a point of using a sizable part of our earnings to fund lengthy trips abroad (three weeks or several months).

Recently, having learned that our first child is on the way, we made a pledge to ourselves. Parenthood will not mean our days of overseas adventuring have come to an end. Quite the contrary. As we see it, becoming parents mandates that we renew our commitment to travel, and strive to foster in our child the consciousness of a world citizen.

We want our child to grow up well-seasoned in the boundary-breaking, humanizing act of witness, discovery, and interaction that international travel can be. I daresay the absence of such experiences in the lives of most Americans is a root cause of our nation’s floundering international relations.

The United States is vast and diverse, but its very immensity makes it a chore to transgress its boundaries for any significant period of time–and Im speaking here of boundaries both geographical and mental. Strictly American values and ideas pervade the thoughts and lifestyles of the majority of U.S. citizens to the exclusion of any other ethos. This is not surprising when you consider our geography. We don’t rub shoulders with other nations, other ways of life. As for our nearest neighbors, Mexico and Canada, we do our best to ignore or fence out the former (except, perhaps, when planning an all-inclusive beach getaway), and the latter is so self-sufficient and peaceable that we forget about it for all but a few moments each year.

travel_passportsmap_pshrink.JPGTo a large extent, our country is like an island nation, culturally speaking. I was shocked to read recently that some 80% of Americans do not own a passport. The world outside is the other, and in our worst moments we tend to forget that these other nations exist, let alone possess social models, cultures, practices, and perspectives which we would often do well to borrow from–or histories we would do well to study. (See travel guru Rick Steves on the subject of why travel can mend a broken world.)

Being constantly aware of this parochial American mindset, my wife and I have made a particular parents-to-be pledge: We will take a big trip abroad sometime within the first two years of our babys life.

This may sound naïve, but our impetus is actually entirely practical. If we dont travel reasonably soon after becoming a family of three–and thus fail to set the custom in place early on–we may risk never traveling again. And that, from the standpoint of two creative souls landlocked in the United States, is unacceptable. Unacceptable for us personally–and for the future of our child.

The thing is, we regard travel as something far more meaningful and edifying than the diversionary experience that comes to most minds at the thought of ‘getting away or ‘vacationing. Travel, as we see it, means engaging a larger world, not merely retreating from the one we know. It entails more than a flight from the boredom of an urban grind, or the doldrums of suburbia, in pursuit of touristy entertainments; its about seeking to become a part of (for a while at least) an experience that transcends ones native outlook, habits, cultural predispositions. In other words, travel means joining in the human experience.

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.--G.K. Chesteron

To tell the truth, I and my wife are a bit haunted by the familiar refrains weve heard from well-meaning stay-at-home sorts whove long since subscribed to a peculiarly American misconception–that lengthy travel is an extraneous indulgence of youth. Enjoy it while you’re young, theyve told us. Go while youre still free. That freedom wont last forever.

Were well aware that they speak to a frightful reality. We know how it goes: life becomes more and more complicated as one’s children grow. Commitments, appointments, routines multiply exponentially–and family finances get apportioned and stretched till the notion of designating any amount toward something as fundamentally non-essential as travel seems absurd.

travel_jetclouds_pshrink.JPGAnd travel–particularly extended international travel–is expensive. That fact alone relegates it to the realm of excess, right? Well, were not so certain. The way we see it, there are vast and innumerable benefits–and some clearly numerable ones–that come of distant sojourning, and these make travel, however expensive, a monetary non-issue for us. We see the act of going abroad as an investment, plain and simple.

Here is a sampling of some major benefits (not to be underrated) that come of one’s investment in international travel:

  • Stuttering in a foreign tongue
  • Being subjected to the good graces (and yes, sometimes the rudeness) of others
  • Being forced to ask questions of strangers
  • Finding oneself confronted by things wondrous, disgusting, or simply difficult to understand
  • Begging explanations for seemingly uninterpretable experiences
  • Plumbing the histories and arts for some sense of what one has beheld and why it matters
  • Putting oneself into the realm of the unexpected, where serendipity can unveil new horizons
  • Generally feeling like an outsider

These experiences engender ones empathy for fellow human beings, better understanding of the challenges faced by new immigrants in our own land, and overall discovery of things large, small, enriching or infuriating, whether they be works of art, episodes of world history, or political conditions.

dickens_10_pound_pshrink.JPGOne example of a very small personal discovery: I’ll never forget, on my first day in London at age nineteen, finding the face of Charles Dickens on the ten-pound note and vocalizing my astonishment that a nation would grant so high an honor to an author. I thought it was perfectly wonderful, but I could not imagine such a thing occurring in my own country. Robert Frost on the twenty? Emily Dickinson on the five? Somehow it seemed impossible. Even England–with whom we share a language, sort of–could not differ more from America on certain values. As a young writer wannabe, I was astounded to find myself in a culture with so strong and valued a literary tradition, and disturbed to compare this with the paltry official regard accorded the arts in America. As author John Gardner once drolly remarked: In America, though federal, state, and local governments make feeble gestures of support (the whole National Endowments for the Arts comes to, I think, the cost of one frigate), it seems clear that nobody quite knows what to do with artists.

Such small realizations and comparisons as this are the daily fodder of the international traveler–and though more usually small than not, they accumulate powerfully, and their personal resonance becomes positively seismic. The little things change and widen a person. Adam Gopnik puts it another way in his wonderful book, Paris to the Moon: This can shake you up, this business of things almost but not quite being the same. A pharmacy is not quite a drugstore; a brasserie is not quite a coffee shop; a lunch is not quite a lunch.

In short, the experience of traveling abroad invigorates the imagination. And it is imagination that makes us into human beings, enabling us to recognize the humanity in the world around us and to reach out to others as fellow humans.

For the profit of travel: in the first place, you get rid of a few prejudices…. The prejudiced against color finds several hundred millions of people of all shades of color, and all degrees of intellect, rank, and social worth, generals, judges, priests, and kings, and learns to give up his foolish prejudice.–Herman Melville

To be human is to be curious. And to be curious is to travel, if not literally, then in the mind through books, arts, cultural treasures. But too many Americans, bombarded with the rampant scare-mongering that characterizes our nations current political moment, have retreated into fear and loathing, while imagination and outreach could help to heal a great many ills. Perhaps travel is more a necessity now than ever.

The uses of travel are occasional, and short; but the best fruit it finds, when it finds it, is conversation; and this is a main function of life.--Ralph Waldo Emerson

But travel at its best is a spiritual investment, that is, it provides a value utterly unquantifiable by the standards of the dollar or any other currency–though no less tangible. And as long as travel remains an imperative in one’s life, an essential endeavor, and I daresay a moral responsibility, a means can be found to make it possible.

My wife and I keep a modest household and our incomes are not large. But we hope to break a cultural mold and start our family life under the consciousness that travel is integral to a rich and fulfilled life. Call us idealists, but if we can cultivate sensitivity, tolerance, openness, and insatiable curiosity in our child, we will have reason to put our faith in the next generation.

Travel at its best is a refresher course in human life on earth, with its millions of dizzying customs, civilizations, and creations. Sign us up, please!

With what ease our seemingly entrenched lives might be altered, were we to walk down a corridor and on to a craft that in a few hours would land us in a place of which we had no memories and where no one knew our names. How pleasant to hold in mind, through the crevasses of our moods, at three in the afternoon when lassitude and despair threaten, that there is always a plane taking off for somewhere.--Alain de Botton, The Art of Travel

For more reading on the subject of travel, I highly recommend the following books and authors:
Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik
The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton
Jan Morris, multiple titles
Paul Theroux, multiple titles

This Thursday, Tim will expand upon some ideas brought up here; specifically, hell propose an unconventional means of evaluating investments and opportunities.

See also: The State of American Happiness and The Risk of Happiness

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success_in_dictionary_optimized2.jpgsuccess_in_dictionary_optimized.jpgA major job hazard in my line of work as a novelist is an occasional looming sense of futility. Futility because, well, how does a writer know whether he’s a success or not?

This quandary is on my mind these days because I’ve just come through a holiday season replete with innumerable parties. You know what I’m talking about. Every year, inevitably, these seasonal engagements require you to give multiple updates on the status of your career.

 

Oh, what does a midlist author say? How summarize one’s attainments? Come to think of it, how does anyone know how successful they’ve become? Let’s admit that American culture refers to some rather limited criteria to define “success.”

For a novelist or other artist, credits in the elite media seem to be regarded as the main measures. If you can say you’ve made a movie with DreamWorks, been featured on network TV, performed at Carnegie Hall, or been listed as a New York Times Bestseller, you’re in good shape. Your work is out there, it’s being recognized by the trendsetters.

This can be hard on a toiling novelist whose books are not featured on Oprah, who can boast no lofty advance or runaway bestseller, and who spends most days in solitude struggling to make a page or a paragraph as good as it can be. You can’t just come out and say, “I wrote several hundred really excellent paragraphs this year,” or, “my novel is selling like hotcakes at Betsy’s Books in Duluth,” and expect to elicit an impressed smile. (God bless our independent booksellers, though!)

success_money_bags_optimized.jpgDid I become a writer in order to win money, fame, social acceptance? Of course not. Still, the culture of money and fame is everywhere — and yes, it’s frequently a shortcut to social acceptance. Its influence is felt most painfully, of course, when making a new acquaintance. How wearying it can be, let me tell you, to have to engage in a conversation like the following:

-Stranger: And what do you do?

-Me: I’m a writer.

-Stranger: Oh really? What do you write?

-Me: Novels mostly. I’ve published some.

-Stranger: What are the titles?

(I say the titles)

-Stranger: Sorry, what?

(I say the titles again)

-Stranger: Are they for sale at Barnes & Noble?

-Me: Yes. Well, sometimes. I mean, they’re not always right there on the shelf. I guess it depends which Barnes & Noble….

-Stranger: Hey, wouldn’t you love to be on Oprah? Wouldn’t that be great?

-Me: Enough about me. What do you do?

 

Ah, the awkwardness…

 

Naturally, narrow American measures of success are not only hard on artists. Your success as a parent, for instance, isn’t likely to wow folks at a holiday party—unless maybe you happen to be rich or famous as well. And what about success as a spouse? Success as a religious leader? As a math tutor or camp counselor or dog trainer?

 

Perhaps it’s for the sake of social expediency, perhaps it’s a function of the evolutionary mating-impulse, or perhaps it’s due to plain shallowness, but in our culture, if you can demonstrate wealth, fame, or political eminence you’ve made it. Whereas if you pursue success that’s less demonstrable, or less “impressive,” you may find yourself lacking social traction.

 

Of course, on a conscious level most of us know it’s not the end of the world to feel awkward and outranked at a party. But such experiences still have subtle and insidious effects, and in the long term they can wear down a person’s confidence and self-worth.

 

So how do we avoid becoming infected with our culture’s measures of success?

 

For starters, we ought to try to recognize and value the achievements of others. But most importantly, if we want to be happy and self-confident and continue wholeheartedly doing the work we love—however underpaid or undervalued—we must learn to rely on the measures of success that mean the most to us personally, and strive not to lose sight of them.

 

What this really means is focusing on the profound, everyday moments that make us more human, whether they occur within the realm of our work or beyond. And maybe that means playing with our children, kissing our spouse, calling our parents to chat, listening to a friend, thanking a waiter or waitress with a smile, reaching a gratifying consensus with coworkers, or, perhaps, writing and re-writing a paragraph in a novel until a luminous human truth comes through (i.e. “I’m not writing this for The New York Times. I’m writing it because it makes me a more empathetic person and deepens my own humanity.”)

 

If we simply strive to be openhearted human beings, then our humanity is bound to permeate our work and improve it beyond measure. Surely, that’s success by any standard: to be fully human, all the time.

 

And should a more worldly success eventually arrive, we’ll always have this invaluable perspective to hold onto: we’ll know exactly what makes our work worth doing.

 

See also: “How Much is Enough,” “Fulfillment: A Work in Progress

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Some months ago I watched an intriguing special on NHK (Japan’s national television broadcaster, like BBC in the U.K.) about a Tokyo design firm struggling to regain its vitality. computer_punch.jpgThe president, a guy in his late 50s or early 60s, decided his employees were spending too much time staring into computer screens and not enough time interacting face-to-face. He instituted a new rule: No more individual desktop PCs. Henceforth employees wanting to create files would have to get up from their stations, walk over to a special area, and complete digital tasks on shared-use computers. While at their own desks, they would work only with pencil, paper, and other analog tools—or confer with colleagues.

What do you think happened?

Morale and productivity soared, as designers rediscovered the power and joy of collaborating in person rather than swapping computer files and “conversing” via electronic Post-it notes. Workers were jolted out of “computer complacency”—the false sense of accomplishment achieved by constantly exchanging e-mails and endlessly fiddling with digitized designs. Hot, live, dialogue replaced silent messaging and passive monitor-gazing. The firm’s workplace was transformed.

I wouldn’t suggest that computers always drag down productivity. But let’s face it: The moment we sit down at a PC, we face a smorgasbord of time-wasting activities. A constant stream of incoming e-mail, mostly trivialities, creates an illusion of urgency, while social networking invitations, games, opt-in solicitations, and countless other distractions fairly overflow our screens, beckoning, as if to say, “c’mon, let’s goof off!”

The computer, of course, is a terrific bundle of tools. But like a 27-blade jackknife or Microsoft Word, when you open it up, most of the content is unnecessary or unimportant (last week I wrote about distinguishing between urgency and importance).

Years ago, like that president in the NHK special, I discovered the dark side of excessive computer use—and paid a price in health and happiness.carpal_pain.jpg Thanks to early and deep attention to computing and the Internet, my ship came in, so to speak, during the dotcom days. But in the meantime, years of constant work hunched over a keyboard and 20,000 keystroke-per day typing sessions steadily chipped away at body and spirit. Eventually, putting my hands to the keys became physically painful, then almost impossible. I discovered I had cubital tunnel syndrome (not carpal tunnel syndrome) in both arms. For the first time, I feared for a professional life so utterly dependent on keyboard/computer usage.

Meanwhile, I grew alarmed by a growing spiritual exhaustion brought on by too much PC time. Finally, I’d had enough. I’d reached a turning—make that a breaking—point.

First, I decided to work on the physical stuff. I’m a firm believer—along with a self-help guru whose name I can’t remember and will probably misquote—that it’s easier to behave yourself into a different way of feeling than feel yourself into different way of behaving. So for starters, I studied up on ergonomics, repetitive stress disorders, cumulative trauma, and nerve compression, then had surgery on my right elbow. I hired a transcriptionist to take the physical strain off my hands, then began using Dragon NaturallySpeaking voice recognition software. This literally saved my work life. For years now I’ve dictated everything I write, sometimes after penning it longhand (as with this post).

Next, I switched to pointing and clicking with both hands instead of just one, using a Wacom pen and tablet (wonderful!) on the right side and a traditional mouse on the left. I got an “expensive” high-quality office chair and a Nada Chair for traveling and outside work. Now I couldn’t get by without either. To reduce nerve compression during sleep, I gritted my teeth and invested $2,000 in a Tempur-Pedic bed (indispensable—geez, I wish these guys had an Affiliates program!). I recovered to the point where I could physically deal with a CPU-driven work environment.

Now it was time to deal with the psychic fallout. Apart from the physical problems, I’d found constant computer use dehumanizing enough to want to change careers. So, with my usual blend of foresight and business acumen, I went into … writing and teaching! Of course, I promptly discovered (what a surprise) that computers have taken over those occupations, too. What was I thinking?

Time to face facts: there’s no getting away from CPUs, no matter what you do for a living. Nonetheless, I find teaching and writing far more rewarding than helping large companies try to make more money. I’ve managed to cut way backsolo_spirit.jpg on computer usage—and reclaim my evenings and weekends in the bargain. I joined the International Institute for Not Doing Much. And to emphasize the analog even more, I’ve started a new policy: The PC stays off on Saturdays or Sundays. Like the Tokyo design firm, I find that working with pen, paper, and books jumpstarts productivity.

I realize my technology aversion was fueled by physical problems, and I don’t mean to imply that my way of dealing with it is for everyone (check a related post at Zen Habits). Heck, I really enjoyed computing in the pre-spam days, before the Internet was re-conceived as a marketing “platform” instead of a communications tool. Nevertheless, no one will be happier than me when this “digital” fad finally blows over and we can all go back to talking to each other with our voices and writing with pencils and paper like civilized people ;-).

Until that day, writing will be my soul shelter. Mark and I will post in our newly-renamed blog every Monday and Thursday, and these twice-weekly essays—and a PC that sleeps all weekend—will mean a bit of happiness to me. What pieces of life mean happiness to you?

Related posts:

Simplify, simplify!A Moment of FulfillmentFulfillment: A Work in Progress

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“Fourteen hundred dollars?!”

Suzanne’s reply stunned me. I turned my gaze away from the window that allowed us a view into the next-door room where our kids were enjoying a pottery lesson, and looked at her in disbelief. “You’re paying $1,400 a month for health insurance?”

Yes, she nodded. Even though both her employer and her husband’s offer opt-in health insurance plans, the combined monthly cost is $1,400.friendly_nurse_190.jpg

How could this be? That’s four times what we pay, even though demographically, Suzanne’s family is almost a perfect match for us: the adults are close in age—in fact, they’re slightly older—and their two kids are in exactly the same grades as ours.

The answer is simple. Many of us are conditioned to avoid spending anything out of pocket on medical or dental care. Our internal definition of “health insurance” is “never seeing a medical bill.” But you pay an enormous premium to avoid any and all out-of-pocket medical expenses.

Our Blue Cross policy, for example, costs $343 per month. That’s for a family of four, the head of whom is—how shall I put it—edging into AARP territory.

Why so cheap? Because we elected to have a $10,000 deductible, meaning that, in theory, we are obligated to pay out of pocket the first $10,000 of medical bills each year before our insurance kicks in.

That may sound scary, but this choice has some powerful, money-saving, prosperity-building effects.

First, it dramatically reduces our monthly health insurance premium. Sure, in addition to the fixed monthly payment we spend $75 in cash for each teeth cleaning, and a couple of hundred dollars each for checkups. But actual budget tracking over the years shows that, on average, we only spend between $300 and $400 a month out-of-pocket in addition to our insurance premium. So our total “health spend” is still about half that of Suzanne’s family.

Second, even though we have a $10,000 deductible, Blue Cross still covers a solid chunk of many of our bills. I get the distinct impression that the team of six experts who writes these policies actually understands them, while the 9,999,994 people affected thereby remain clueless as to how they work. The armies of clerks who process medical claim forms certainly must have fairly simple criteria for determining what charges are reimbursable, and it seems they consistently decide in our favor. And earlier this year we experienced a minor miracle: Blue Cross actually lowered our premium.

But isn’t it risky to leave yourself open to a whopping bill for, say, emergency medical services? Well, if you’re poor, a lower monthly premium will be more manageable, and at least will protect you against potentially ruinous bills exceeding $10,000. And if you’re prosperous, you can afford to pay cash.

That’s why in my view, the prerequisite for choosing a high deductible is not financial status—it’s good health. So if you and your family are healthy, be grateful, count your blessings, and brush off fear of medical bills. Retool your definition of health insurance and consider a new plan—one that works for the poor and prosperous alike.

Postscript: By no means am I endorsing Blue Cross with these comments; in fact, my wife and I are thinking of changing providers next year— so we’d love to hear which carriers you like and why. Finally, take a look at this chart from Providence comparing rates with deductible amounts. It showed up in the mailbox just as I was preparing this post …providence_premium_chart.jpg

See “Risk of Happiness” and “A Moment of Fulfillment

 

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