Tim

Brilliant article! I work for a large, global organization that relies heavily on email, and I certainly understand why – we’re working across an entire globe of time zones and work schedules.

But I continue to be amazed at how many times people who sit right down the hall from me insist on communicating almost exclusively by email.

Consider me a fellow Luddite.

- Chris

Thanks for teaching me with your comments. Being a woman truly is different. BTW, your writing is gorgeous.

Next week starts a two-part Japan-related post, so stay tuned!

Respectfully,

Tim

I think that’s my problem: I don’t do well with avoiding small talk, and unfortunately, as a woman it’s almost expected that one will engage in it. When I do try to avoid it, people think I’m rude or “aggressive,” which annoys me no freakin’ end. So sometimes, as much as I try to get to the “meat” of the matter, I find myself going along with the social expectation of chatting inanely about the weather or how my weekend went , then the next thing you know, poof! It’s been an hour later.

Ah, maybe that’s why women feel so frazzled. It’s the whole “inability to say no” syndrome. Must work on that.

Oh, I get so long-winded when I start talking about my time in Japan. I think it was worse when I finally came back after two years — I couldn’t stop talking about it. Fortunately, I’m married to someone who went through the same experience I did (albeit a few years later), so we have someone with whom we could talk endlessly about the subject and they would understand.

I think I’ll try moving it up to 7 pm. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been getting much sleep.

Thanks for the kind wishes! I think you have it so much harder than I. At least when I’m done, an agent or editor will read it in the privacy of their office, and I get critiqued over the phone or by email. With you, you’ll be defending your whole education in front of an entire panel of people, who will shoot questions at you for which you will not be prepared in advance. To an introvert like me, that would be akin to facing a firing squad.

Salut,
Marjorie

And I fully understand your aversion to the phone. I’m skilled at avoiding small talk, so ballooning conversations are rarely a problem (unless the subject drifts toward Japan or international business model portability, in which case all bets are off

9PM?? Good grief, I stop at six.

Best of luck on the novel (my “novel” is a doctorate thesis). And take refuge in Soul Shelter as often as you please.

Yours as ever,

Tim

Most of my previous day jobs involved lots of phone work, so perhaps I’m just very burned out by the whole experience. I work from home mostly now (working on a novel — isn’t that what everyone is doing? — and my blog), and I like the peace and quiet. I do enjoy meeting friends and family for coffee, but even those are scheduled via email. I’ve found that I’m much more productive (even when taking into consideration the amount of time I could theoretically save if I used the phone to make appointments) when I’m not constantly being interrupted by the phone. Conversations take much longer than planned (even if one is just scheduling that meeting), and then it takes me a few minutes to get back in the groove of what I was doing prior to the call.

I try and schedule all my phone calls at one time during the day, and I don’t answer the phone after 9pm.

Or maybe I’m just becoming a hermit in my old age?

Salut,
Marjorie

p.s. I really enjoy your blog.

Ridiculous! This could have been accomplished in 30 seconds by phone (since he was the initiator, and I wanted to meet him, I went along with the e-mail “conversation”).

This kind of interaction assumes that we’re both sitting by our computers, watching our inboxes, just waiting for that next message to interrupt… if so, why not just pick up the phone? Not a productive way to work…

This morning I e-mailed someone—at the request of her colleague—and was delighted when she called a few minutes later. We quickly settled our business, and more important, established some real rapport. Now, if and when I meet her, I bet we’ll both feel a degree closer.

No doubt my perspective is colored by my self-employed status and computer overdosing during Web 1.0. I’m lucky not to have bosses or salespeople calling. But I sure feel lucky to have people like you getting in touch—even if you’re not calling!

Everyone else emails, often to arrange that coffee.

With the exception of truly over-scheduled alpha types, most of the rest of the world still welcomes phone calls, in Clark’s view (which very well may be wrong).

So don’t be shy about gracing others with your voice, though like you, I agree that coffee in person trumps cellular in transit every time

Tim